|emotion is a fucking sickness.
||[May. 10th, 2005|04:29 pm]
for the first time in a long while, i have a lot to say. unfortunately, there is only one thing on my mind:
* i found out today that my 18-year-old brother has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. talk about a shock to the system. apparently, a female friend of his found him in his dorm with his head completely shaved bald [he's had an afro of curly blonde hair that he cherished for as long as i can remember], his eyebrows shaven, &his wrists slit. he was rushed to ER, then transferred to ICU at some point, &now he remains in the mental health ward where they are continuing to perform tests on him. this has all happened over the course of the last five days. FIVE DAYS! i understand that he isn't my brother by blood - he isn't even my brother by marriage anymore. but i damn well grew up with that kid; since he was 1 and i was 3. 13 years of our lives were spent together as siblings; just because our parents got divorced does not mean i divorced matt as part of my family. he's my brother, by flesh or not, he's my fucking brother. &it took 5 days for me to get the little information i have. i've called his dad, i've had my mother call his dad - i'm tempted to start calling all the local hospitals to find where he is so i can find out if he's allowed visitors. but i wouldn't even know where to begin.
&i'm worried sick for him.