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just be. [Dec. 29th, 2005|12:11 pm]
quick update since i've apparently dropped off the face of LJ world....

&! christmas was wonderful
&! going to giant village for NYE
&! went to MI to see family = froze my ass off in the snow
&! i'm starving right now
&! i start a new work shift january 3: 6am-3pm
&! i'm cutting back to drinking only once a month (wish me luck!)
&! i've gained 10 lbs :(
&! life is great

HAVE A SAFE & HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!! <333
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(no subject) [Nov. 8th, 2005|09:00 pm]

i wish it was spundaeCollapse )

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so fuckin' useless [Nov. 3rd, 2005|09:17 pm]

no digitals allowed inside monster.
forgot my disposable in the car.
most of them are dark due to drunkeness.

just a few pre-party dress up shots...Collapse )

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{fo-to-sesh [Oct. 11th, 2005|05:56 pm]

KNOTTS .. . ... hAlloWeen hAuntCollapse )

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scribble [Sep. 29th, 2005|09:41 pm]
wrote my dreams down
just to scribble them out


is this what love feels like?

(blurred shades of grey
because we always compromise)

but your signals are
yellow, green, red
in no particular order

should i stay or should i go now?

if staying means leaving in the long run
then i would rather start count my footsteps
from your door
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captured. [Jun. 22nd, 2005|10:51 pm]

mass photography post from the last few monthsCollapse )

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release. [Jun. 6th, 2005|11:43 am]

*tagged by__cinema

what do you do to de-stress?

- sing out loud in the car.
- listen to d&b or "angry" music.
- write.
- work out.
- eat fattening/greasy foods.


hallucinogenik, 7thremix, deviantways, cryptika
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emotion is a fucking sickness. [May. 10th, 2005|04:29 pm]
for the first time in a long while, i have a lot to say. unfortunately, there is only one thing on my mind:

* i found out today that my 18-year-old brother has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. talk about a shock to the system. apparently, a female friend of his found him in his dorm with his head completely shaved bald [he's had an afro of curly blonde hair that he cherished for as long as i can remember], his eyebrows shaven, &his wrists slit. he was rushed to ER, then transferred to ICU at some point, &now he remains in the mental health ward where they are continuing to perform tests on him. this has all happened over the course of the last five days. FIVE DAYS! i understand that he isn't my brother by blood - he isn't even my brother by marriage anymore. but i damn well grew up with that kid; since he was 1 and i was 3. 13 years of our lives were spent together as siblings; just because our parents got divorced does not mean i divorced matt as part of my family. he's my brother, by flesh or not, he's my fucking brother. &it took 5 days for me to get the little information i have. i've called his dad, i've had my mother call his dad - i'm tempted to start calling all the local hospitals to find where he is so i can find out if he's allowed visitors. but i wouldn't even know where to begin.

              &i'm worried sick for him.
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lighthearted vs. downhearted. [May. 5th, 2005|03:01 pm]
As I was driving to work today, I thought about the changes I have gone through as a person over the last year. I think the most drastic revision I see in myself is that I’ve become simple-minded. I don’t mean that I’ve become childlike or unsophisticated or naïve in any way; I mean it more in the sense that I’ve turned into an artless, ingenuous soul. I no longer have profound thoughts circulating my brain in rapid movement 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I am no longer inspired to write by music or poetry or even life events. My character has turned very blithe, not only on the surface but internally as well. Does it take a case of melancholia to be insightful? Can I not be both carefree AND philosophical?!?
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sub-domain? [Apr. 22nd, 2005|02:30 pm]

the beautiful isaura is closing down [out-write], &therefore, my sub-domain, [phantom muse] will also be closing. i have not been able to update in nearly a year due to issues, first with my computer itself, &then with the domain provider &my ftp account.

i want to start fresh. i want to develop a new site. its main purpose, like PM, will be to archive my writing &for personal use. it will also have a section entirely dedicated to writing prompts, tips, guidelines, visuals, etc. since the birth of PM back in november 2002, i have changed drastically. i am now ready to present myself in a different form.

i had originally planned on purchasing my own domain. financially, that just isn't a possibility at this point in time. so i turn to you. would anybody be willing to host me? :)

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